Update: Despite our wishes, Pita Taufatofua, the hottest male Olympian, will not be Tonga’s flag bearer again this year. The honor will go to another deserving Tongan, Taekwondo athlete Malia Paseka.
Pita Taufatofua will compete in Tokyo again this year. The three-time Olympian who went viral for looking like an Adonis in the 2016 and 2018 Opening Ceremonies will compete in Taekwondo.
Now, I have a long-standing policy against swooning for straight guys. It makes me feel like I’m right back in high school, fantasizing about my friends and their toxic masculinity.
But Taufatofua is an exception. I mean, just look at him.
The chiseled chest; rock-hard abs; body drenched in oil. I’m salivating — and not alone! Taufatofua’s popularity spreads across all gender identities and sexual orientations.
Oh, and before I forget, Taufatofua is also an exceptional athlete. He competed in Taekwondo five years ago, and will do the same in Tokyo. For the 2018 Winter Games, he participated cross-country skiing.
This year, Taufatofua tried to qualify for three different sports in three consecutive Games, but ran into bad luck. He missed the qualifying event for spring kayaking on two occasions: first due to injury, and then to Covid-19 restrictions.
Taufatofua has been quarantining in Australia since the pandemic began.
“We haven’t been able to go to any other countries to do any competition to compete against other people,” he told USA Today. “There were other challenges, but there’s no victory without first going through the battles.”
Forever the optimist, Taufatofua brought his paddles to Tokyo with him, anyway. “We need an Olympic miracle,” he said.
While we’re bummed to miss Taufatofua in the Opening Ceremony, we’re blessed to still be able to see him.
And that’s our own little Olympic miracle.