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Morgan then asked Trump about his meeting with Prince Charles, whom the president described as “really into climate change” and someone who cared about “future generations” and “people.”
“He’s really into climate change? It is a global crisis, not kombucha.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“As if they were talking about a band at Coachella or something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“[Imitating Trump] I don’t understand. I totally don’t get this guy. Why would a prince or any leader care about the people of his country? What’s the angle? Is he trying to sell like a climate-branded vodka or something like that?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“If Prince Charles is smart, he would have talked exclusively about the impact on the fried chicken industry.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Morgan also asked whether Trump regretted not serving in the Vietnam War, having received military deferments over a claim of bone spurs in his heel. Trump said no, because not only was he not a fan of the war, but it was “far away.”
“Yes, that is what is horrible about war — the commute.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“[Imitating Trump] Now, if we’d gone to war with Cabo, I would’ve signed right up!” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Pride and Prejudice
A group of men in Boston recently announced plans to hold a “Straight Pride Parade” this August.
“The city has had six Super Bowl parades — what do you think that is?” — TREVOR NOAH
“If a straight man wants to grill steaks while wearing cargo shorts talking about how much they love watching ‘Scarface,’ no one should try to stop them. And yet no one is trying to stop them, but that’s not the point. The point is straight people deserve a parade because they’ve been oppressed for too long. Do you realize that straight marriage has only been legal for like 4,000 years, huh? Do you realize straight people are the only group that don’t get their own slur, huh? ” — TREVOR NOAH
“Now if you are wondering the difference between the gay pride parade and straight pride parade, the gay pride parade will have women at it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Trump Leaves London Edition)
“Now the British know what it is like when an unwelcome white person shows up, stays too long and shows you how to run your country in a language you don’t understand.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Throughout the trip, Trump has insisted that instead of protests, the people of London have been cheering. Today he was right, because he left.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Prince Harry’s wife, Meghan Markle, was able to avoid meeting President Trump because she’s on maternity leave. So she got to avoid him. So today, when Trump said he’d like to come back, Queen Elizabeth announced she’s pregnant. She said she will be for the next — until Trump’s term in office is over.” — CONAN O’BRIEN
The Bits Worth Watching
“The Late Show” switched out Piers Morgan for Stephen Colbert in its “exclusive fake interview” with Trump.
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