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Air Canada recently announced its plans to drop the gendered salutation “ladies and gentlemen” from its on-flight greeting. While the choice is obviously a win for trans and nonbinary inclusivity, it’s also the perfect opportunity for us all to expand our lexical arsenal with some gender-neutral “hellos.”
For starters, why not try “Listen up, fuckers!,” which one Twitter user aptly pointed out is both gender-free and attention-grabbing. A double whammy!
“listen up fuckers” is gender-neutral and gets attention https://t.co/IKqTFDwz1T
— vicky mochama (@vmochama) October 15, 2019
But that’s only the beginning. Below, we’ve pulled together our list of preferred gender-neutral greetings, ranked from our fave to absolute most fave.
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“Ahoy, mateys!”
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“Good morning, Krusty crew.”
Is a morale boost in order? Try this Spongebob classic.
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“Greetings, earthlings.”
It’s gender-neutral, geek-friendly, and applicable anywhere on the planet. Well, at least until interstellar travel becomes a thing. Then it’ll just be charmingly retro!
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“Listen up, fives. A ten is speaking.”
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“What’s up, buttercup?”
This greeting is fun, but warning: It does leave you open to cringey responses like “What’s shakin’, bacon?”
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“Get in, loser, we’re going shopping.”
It’s sassy and a Mean Girls reference. Thank you, next!
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“Hi, folks.”
This works in so many contexts. (Double hand wave optional.)
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“Howdy, y’all.”
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“Theydies and gentlethems…”
It’s formal, inclusive of gender-nonconforming people, and cute AF. You listening, Air Canada?
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