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President Trump visited Dayton, Ohio, and El Paso on Wednesday, attempting to console residents after mass shootings in those cities over the weekend.
“And apparently it worked. ‘I found it comforting when Trump went to Texas,’ said a woman in Ohio.” — JAMES CORDEN
“But first, before those solemn occasions, he lashed out at the mayor of Dayton, Elizabeth Warren, Beto O’Rourke, The New York Times, the Federal Reserve, Joe Biden, Shepard Smith and even Fox News. Which is strange because, I don’t know about you, but I’m old enough to remember the day when Trump said it was time to move forward with ‘unity, devotion and love.’ I think that day was Monday, by the way.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“O.K., not exactly what you’re used to hearing from Donald Trump, but he appeared to mean it — for about 24 hours.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Of course, we all know by now that when Trump reads something from a teleprompter, he doesn’t actually mean it. More often than not, it’s the first time he’s even seeing it.” — SETH MEYERS
“Ahead of his trip to El Paso, President Trump attacked Democratic presidential hopeful Beto O’Rourke on Twitter and accused him of changing his name to sound more Hispanic. Even crazier, he said the same thing about El Paso. [As Trump] ‘When I was a kid, it was called “The Pass.”’” — SETH MEYERS
“By the way, Mr. President, Beto isn’t pretending to be Hispanic. If he was, the part of his name he would’ve changed would’ve been ‘O’Rourke.’ ‘Beto O’Rourke’ does not sound like a Hispanic name. ‘Beto O’Rourke’ sounds like the bouncer at a Dropkick Murphys concert.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Bourne Supremacy Edition)
While talking with reporters on Wednesday, Trump said he disapproved not only of white supremacy, but “any type of supremacy.”
“What other kind of supremacy is Trump concerned about? [Imitating Trump] ‘That’s right, we’re under threat from white supremacy and “The Bourne Supremacy.” Very confusing plot. So confusing.’” — TREVOR NOAH
“He can’t just denounce white supremacy, he has to hedge it. It’s the one time he feels the need to hear both sides of the issue.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And now he’s saying he is against white supremacy and other ‘supremacies,’ even though the F.B.I. specifically warned Americans about white supremacy. He just doesn’t want to single them out, which is not very comforting. It’s like if your girlfriend asks, ‘Baby, do you love me?’ and your response is, ‘Yeah, yeah, I love everyone. I love you, I love my mom, I love people, I love mailmen!’ It’s not going to make you feel good.” — TREVOR NOAH
“We are in the midst of a decade-long surge of white nationalist terrorism. Next week will be the second anniversary of the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville and the murder of Heather Heyer. We’ve seen the murder of a gay Jewish teenager, a large-scale mail bomb plot and many, many more. There have been more white supremacist attacks than new Oreo flavors.” — SAMANTHA BEE
The Bits Worth Watching
Phoebe Waller-Bridge of the British comedy series “Fleabag” played a nonsensical game of “Think Fast!” with Jimmy Fallon.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
In a curious move, Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers and James Corden will host “a surprise special guest” on Thursday night.
“Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood,” the new film by Quentin Tarantino, has been criticized as simplifying Sharon Tate, the actress killed by the Manson family. But there’s more to it than that, our critic writes.